): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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