I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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