some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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