Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
