Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
