I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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