well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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