You just made me feel so damn special
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
