i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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