People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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