i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
