do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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