sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
