I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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