Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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