You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
its not stalking. its research.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
