I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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