YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
