would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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