names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Couch. On fire.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
