oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
