There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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