So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
