The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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