Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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