help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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