Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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