They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
