I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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