I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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