You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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