the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
