We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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