i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
