I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
