He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
