somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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