She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
