i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
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