Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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