JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
