i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
