Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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