the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you will always have a special place in my vag
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
