Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
