Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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