I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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