Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize