Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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