I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He passed out mid-signature
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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