ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
