Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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