That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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