i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
