giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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