im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
