I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
