how hairy? two words: wookie tits
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
