I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
