What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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