Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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