my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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