considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
