More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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