If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize