Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize