I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
