Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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