Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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