I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Randomize
